Commentary by Uncle Mike (This is an UMM. Uncle Mike Message) for www.notquiterightnews.com
Wanted to take a few minutes to share with you what Memorial Day means to your UM.
I was eight years old when Dad (Grandpa Mike) went to Vietnam. His War was 365 days of hell. He was a ‘fortunate son’ (Creedence shout out here). He made it home. Approximately 58,209 did not. There are things that all the stories and movies and whispers just don’t tell a youth when a loved one goes off to War. They don’t really tell you what really happens. They don’t mention that your Dad might not come back because he may get killed. They surely don’t tell you what went on or why your Dad is so different when he comes back. Let your UM give you some truth.
Grandpa Mike went off to Vietnam as part of the 11th Armored Cavalry Regiment. Remember this gang; “If you ain’t Cav, you ain’t SHIT!” Warrior spirit can be carried with a warrior’s motto’s and war cries, but these too have limitations. On his retirement shadow box is the quote, “I am sure to go to Heaven, because I have serve my time in hell”. It took over 40 years before my Dad actually sat me down and explained to me what he went through in Vietnam.
Grandpa Mike was a Huey gunship technical inspector. He was responsible for maintaining a Squadron of Huey Helicopters and by all accounts he was very good at it. Thirteen Air Medals (some with “V” device for Valor) and a Bronze Star indicated written acknowledgement of heroism, but they are never enough to really explain how they were earned. Flights to Cambodia to pick up shot down aircraft (without US patches in case he was shot down so the country could offer plausible deniability that he wasn’t a US soldier). Landing a helicopter in a river to wash out the blood on the floorboard. Pushing Uncle Dean, a visiting Air Force sergeant into a foxhole when the nightly motor attack came. Compartmentalizing a war that you survive is a survival mechanism, but those memories are forever planted in your mind. So you fight those memories. Over. And over.
From the day he got home, he couldn’t sleep. In the middle of the night, I would find him on the floor in the living room of our 12 x 70 trailer (that would be ‘Mobile Home’ to you rich folk), rocking, trying to put away imaginary ghosts, find a comfortable way to lay and hope that the peace of sleep would overtake the fear. It took over 40 years of internalization and a decade of talking with other Vietnam Vets before he found enough peace to sleep.
When your Uncle Mike joined the Army in 1981, Grandpa Mike joined him for beers and some great advice. “Mikey, just remember one thing. It’s always better to give out going fire than to receive incoming fire!” Words of wisdom, relayed halfway into a twelve pack. Knowing what I know now, after my own 22 years and a Company Command in the Gulf War with the finest brotherhood an Apache Pilot could know, C Company, 3rd of the 1st “Ghostriders”, I wonder why he never tried to talk me out of joining!? It’s because he wanted me to understand something for myself. To understand his pain. To understand War.
Grandpa remains a warrior. Neither the Vietcong nor Agent Orange could get him ’67. Nor stock car racing, heavy equipment operations in Japan (’54, post the bomb and Korea), prostate cancer, two deadly car accidents, non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, a broken neck, COVID-19 or living in a Cuomo nursing home in Upstate New York in 2020! Eighty-six years young, walking with a walker, he still manages to smile and make the nurses laugh. He doesn’t tell them the stories. They don’t need to know. But I know.
What I don’t know is if the Western Democracies have the courage or strength of our past warriors? The ones we remember this weekend. When I hear my fellow countrymen talk about ‘war’ on poverty or ‘war’ on drugs, I change the subject. Now I’m hearing my countrymen (and women!) talk of ‘civil war’. Fools. Last time the US played that “CIVIL WAR”, we killed over 700,000 of US. There is nothing ‘civil’ about War. The concept has been relegated to a word used as common as an ‘F’ bomb in a rap song. With no comprehension of the sheer chaos and horrendous effects of war.
Today young people around the world have no understanding of real War. The purpose of Memorial Day is to remember those that fought and died in War. We must remind people that you should never glorify War. It is unimaginable horror. Hollywood can pretend to put you in that place, but at the end of the film, the actors all went home. In a video game, you get another ‘life’. In War, you don’t come back from that. You are forever changed and will continue to search for your humanity.
This Memorial Day, know that as many as 17.6 Veteran’s committed suicide each day in 2018. (Link: 2020 National Veteran Suicide Prevention Annual Report (va.gov)). Veteran’s that are fortunate enough to survive a war environment have different ways of dealing with their internal horrors. They may appear well on the outside, yet they may have issues on the inside. They aren’t crazy. They are probably doing you a favor not sharing their experience(s) with you. And if they are lucky enough to survive the first decade with the compartmentalized trauma of memories that won’t go away, they will decide when and if they want to share their experiences. Please understand, there are reasons they don’t talk about it. It is best talked about with another veteran.
Do not be offended. It doesn’t mean you can’t help. It never hurts to try to help. Here is a link to get help for a veteran considering suicide: Veterans Crisis Line: Suicide Prevention Hotline, Text & Chat.
Understand what Memorial Day is about. The US Warriors of today served so that the best things of our nation are celebrated 364 days a year. They should not be torn down by people that throw words around on social media without understanding the ramifications of ignorance.
What you can do this weekend. COVID is almost done, so hug or hold a Vet. They’ll talk about it if they want to. They will also know that you understand what Memorial Day is about.
That’s the Uncle Mike Message for this Memorial Day. Honor those men and women that have given the ultimate sacrifice for US.
Peace.
Footnotes:
Here is a link to US War Deaths and Casualties: United States military casualties of war – Wikipedia
The US military began the conflict in Afghanistan on 7 October, 2001. And 2,448 deaths are reported. It’s time to bring Western military forces home. Enough.
(Music Video for Grandpa Mike. Cross Canadian Ragweed: Long Way Home – YouTube)
